Struggling with the whole social media thing? Don't know a tweet from a twit? Can't decide if your company should have a Facebook page? Trying to understand the value of LinkedIn? I know a guy who's figured it all out. His name is Bill. "I'm a social media god," he told me recently.

Interestingly, though, Bill's never been to any of these Web sites.

Bill owns a landscaping company near Dayton, Ohio. His company's Facebook page has more than a thousand fans. His Linkedln account has hundreds of connections. Another 1,500 people follow him on Twitter. But Bill doesn't do any of these things. And he's not spending much money (or, more important, much time).

Bill's secret? It's a 23-year-old girl in the San Francisco Bay area named Abby. Abby is actually Bill - for two to three hours a day.

Bill found Abby on Craigslist. He placed an ad for a part-time marketing assistant. It cost him $25. He wrote that he needed somebody who was "familiar with social media sites like Facebook and could help him better use these sites to promote his business." And he couldn't pay more than $20 per hour. Bill got 350 resumes within a week.

Yes, that's how bad the economy is. Or how good the job was. Because Bill wasn't asking this potential person to do anything more than they were already doing. Just connecting on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and LinkedIn. The main social media sites. Not to leave comments on a stupid video or send updates from the latest happy hour in town, but to promote Bill's business.

Abby lives with her boyfriend in Berkeley. She spends all day on her iPad. She's a registered Democrat. That last part was almost a show-stopper for Bill. But he liked Abby when he spoke to her on the phone. So he hired her. Bill took a chance with Abby. She's young. College-educated. She likes marketing. She uses social media all the time. And she was cheap labor. Bill's a penny-pincher. Perfect.

So for two or three hours a day, Abby becomes Bill. She grows a beard. She fondly remembers Reagan. She's a father of four. A graduate of Ohio State. A business owner. Abby didn't know much about landscaping, but she could learn that. Bill doesn't know much about social media. And he'll never learn. But that's OK, because the minute Bill chose Abby as his social media marketing person, she knew exactly what to do.

The first thing she did was start a Facebook fan page for Bill's business. She took a bunch of material already on his Web site. She had him snap some photos and e-mail them to her. She opened up the page for comments and dialogue. She formatted the page with colors and a design to match Bill's site. She also created a YouTube channel and a blog for Bill's company.

Next, she created a Twitter account and formatted it like the Facebook page. She searched Twitter, finding other people related to the business - gardeners, planters, hobbyists - anyone remotely interested in gardens and lawns. Bill helped her out by providing a list of customers and suppliers and other contacts he's known over the years. And she followed them. And they, in turn, started following her. I mean Bill.

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