The problems of lax accounting and outright fraud have gotten a lot of attention in the press. But you have to feel sorry for white-collar culprits. Any thug with enough money for a handgun can knock over a liquor store. However, looting a billion-dollar corporation requires top technology tools, which haven’t been available. Until now!
The software technology labs at the Accountants Media Group have risen to the challenge and we are announcing our new "CookedBooks," the first of a line of software solutions that provides seamless front-office to back-office to jail cell integration, providing a complete life-sentence cycle. It takes the "collar" out of white-collar crime like no other product on the market.
Let’s start with the key modules, including the standard GL, AP, and AR. But CookedBooks adds our innovative Accounts Culpable module, which not only tracks payments due, but calculates possible jail time and lists countries with which the United States does not have extradition treaties. Core modules feature the new Skimmer utility, an add-on to Bank Reconciliation that lets you siphon cash for periodic personal use. All modules provide capabilities for adjusting, reversing, and concealing journal entries.
AC also dynamically links to our award-winning, Felon-E Web site, so that you can view accommodations at leading minimum security prisons, along with menus and visiting day schedules. Create a sense of community with your future convict colleagues through the ConCom discussion group.
Need to improve profitability? The TimePad time and billing module, built upon our exciting new TaxCheat technology, adds 15 seconds to every minute of billed time. This provides an easy way to increase staff utilization without having to engage in dreary efforts such as improving operations internally.
In the personal financial planning edition, Pension Deflator lets employees know at a glance how much their 401(k)s have sunk from investing their retirement funds in your company’s stock.
Caught up in the never-ending cycle of print and shred? Flash(Paper)Reports take the effort and worry out of document destruction. We’ve drawn from the experience of generations of bookmakers who know that when the cops come knocking, you’ve got little time to waste in setting a match to incriminating records. Speaking of our colleagues in the racing industry, we’ve adopted some of their other innovative ideas in the upcoming Book-ease spreadsheet add-on. Keep track of the track! You work hard to funnel thousands of dollars their way. Make sure your count matches your bookie’s. You don’t want to lose a kneecap over a simple bookkeeping error!
All modules are available in single-user or in the networked FrauduLAN version.
Just remember, it’s not how much you steal, it’s how much you keep!
