Much to the consternation of my parents, I knew there was a good reason I didn’t attend an Ivy League school — aside from my deplorable grades in high school.

The truth is, I have seldom met an Ivy League graduate with an abundance of common sense. Maybe it’s just the company I keep, but I’ve noticed this disturbing pattern throughout my life. So, please don’t send me angry e-mails threatening to have the Harvard mascot beat me up.

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