My wife, Rosie, read my last column dealing with Game Boys and threw up her hands...in disgust. "Enough already with the golfing and financial planning. How come your colleagues are all talking about Andersen, Enron, and this AICPA, and you're still discussing some retirement plan with Wal-Mart?"
Now, for you husbands out there who have been married for an eternity like me, just consider the great statement made by that superb barrister, Leo McKern, in "Rumpole of the Bailey," when referring to his wife: "She Who Must Be Obeyed."
Okay, then, pull the ring on my nose, I'll respond. You want to talk about Enron? Here goes. How would you like to buy a share of Enron stock for $39.95? I'm not kidding. You can purchase an actual share of this fabulous stock, framed in fact, for $39.95 plus $10.95 shipping. Wouldn't that make a truly wonderful gift?
There's an outfit in Fort Myers, Florida, called Frame-A-Stock that is offering stock from more than 120 companies which you can use as gifts for whatever occasion you want. The share comes completely framed and you can add a specific inscription such as "Great Stock Advice. Any more of these ideas? Love Dad."
Now, keep certain important things in mind. If the stock splits at any time, the company (Enron) will issue another share equal to the amount you now hold in your possession. It will get automatically mailed to you.
Of course, what happens if you have, say three children and you wish to purchase one share of stock and to have it issued in all three names? You can do that too. All names will appear on the certificate but with a JT TEN after the names, which stands for Joint Tenancy. Pretty cool, eh?
How does Frame-A-Stock figure out its pricing? Well, they say it includes all necessary transaction fees to obtain the physical delivery of the one share of stock and this includes the transfer fee, the actual value of the share and of course, processing work, and "necessary paperwork." Keep in mind this is a collector's item and is appreciated by all, except possibly Enron and Andersen employees.
Oh, in case you're concerned, these are actual shares of stock with full shareholder rights. Just what you wanted, right?
What's that question from She Who Must Be Obeyed? What was the stock trading on its last day? Umm, twenty-six cents. Okay?
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