Not every relationship is forever … unfortunately for most of them. Many marriages end in divorce. Employees leave jobs. Clients leave and many business partnerships dissolve.
Marriages start with couples deeply in love promising to love, honor and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. Yet I've seen absolute hatred when many of these same couples are facing each other across a table with each next to their divorce attorneys.
Many employees get fired and leave with anger and resentment or they quit with an antagonism toward unkept promises of a particular future that was unfilled. Some quit and leave behind a degree of bitterness among their former bosses for many reasons including insufficient notice, taking clients or soliciting other employees to go with them, or that implied promises to stay were broken after extensive and costly training. I do not need to expand upon clients leaving and partnerships breaking up. These happen all the time.
The issue is not that the relationship will end, but how to prolong it or bow out gracefully. Hopefully marriages and business partnerships will be everlasting, but just in case, I am including these too.
I suggest a protective posture anticipating an unpleasant end. However, I am also not suggesting that you act like it will end. I am suggesting that you do things that will not cause you embarrassment and put you in a defensive position if it does end. We cannot control how other people will act or what they might do and say, but we can control how we act and what we say and do. Furthermore, none of the following suggestions would inhibit anything that you might do and all of them are decent ways to conduct yourself in every situation. In effect, following these would make you a better person.
- Never lie.
- Keep your promises.
- Do what you say you will do without cutting corners.
- Never cheat on your taxes or help others cheat on their taxes.
- Never pocket cash revenues without recording them.
- Never cheat in golf or cards.
- Give charity that is consistent with your wealth and position.
- Do not ask others to do something you would not do yourself.
- Treat everyone the way they believe they are entitled to be treated.
- Don't engage in "gotchas." Be straight with everyone.
- Pay your bills on time.
- If you make a mistake, own up to it, correct it and then move forward.
- Always be on time and meet deadlines.
- Always try to be helpful when you can.
- If you cannot do something for someone, tell them so right away. Delaying a negative response creates uncertainty and thwarts the other person from making alternative arrangements.
- Try to do what you commit to do expeditiously. Do not put things off.
- Do not miss opportunities to help, teach or mentor someone.
- Do not use foul language.
- Never make insensitive remarks or tell off-color jokes. Make it your responsibility to become fully aware of the new lexicon of incorrectness and inappropriateness. Project how you will feel if you were on a witness stand and are asked to explain something you said in private.
- Never cheat on your spouse.
- Don't keep secrets from your spouse.
- Act like what you do would serve as a role model for everyone else in the world.
- Be a mensch.
- Be God fearing.
Many of these are ways you should act all the time. However, you would be surprised how many problems neglecting these simple rules cause when you have an unpleasant terminal encounter.
Do not hesitate to contact me at
