The list came from member submissions. After compiling the list, the society asked MNCPA member Scott Kadrlik, who moonlights as a comedian at local comedy clubs, how he might respond in his role as a comedian.

Entertainment expense?

An over-the-road truck driver wanted to deduct the cost of female companionship while traveling.

Scott says: I thought people became over-the-road drivers to avoid females telling them how to drive.

Contracted services?

The cost of a tattoo on the client's derriere.

Scott says: That's called putting a billboard on the moon.

Protection services?

All the expenses associated with a dog, because it served as the owner's security system.

Scott says: Man’s best friend is not a good tax deduction. That's the accountant's best friend.

A home office?

A corporate executive wanted to deduct 60 percent of the exec's home as an office, when almost no business activity occurred at the home.

Scott says: Home/office is an oxymoron just like accountant/comedian, nice toupee, Senate Ethics Committee and tax return.

Dependent?

A woman wanted to claim her spouse as a dependent.

Scott says: He probably depends on her for everything. Just what she needs, another child.

Entertainment expense?

A realtor who sells lake property wanted to deduct the full cost of a personal pontoon boat.

Scott says: The Vikings tried to do this on Lake Minnetonka.

Business expense?

A doctor wanted to deduct his hair styling costs, including hair dye.

Scott says: We are recommending a hat.

Business expense?

A woman in sales wanted to write off the cost of hair care, manicures and jewelry because she needed to look good.

Scott says: I guess beauty is skin deep, and ugly is not deductible.

Cost of living?

A client thought it was acceptable to claim personal living expenses, including utilities, auto insurance and gas.

Scott says: If everything was deductible, there would be no tax dollars available to print the Internal Revenue Code. But then again, we wouldn't need an Internal Revenue Code. Then what would we do with all of the out-of-work Statue of Liberty performers by the side of the road?

Charitable donation?

A client wanted to take a substantial deduction for used designer suits donated to a charity.

Scott says: He may have to replace these suits with ones with stripes.

By day, Scott Kadrlik works as managing partner with the CPA firm of Meuwissen, Flygare, Kadrlik & Associates in Eden Prairie, Minn. With more than 30 years of public accounting experience, he focuses on tax and financial planning. Kadrlik is a member of the MNCPA. In his spare time, Kadrlik performs at the Comedy Gallery, Minnesota Comedy Club, The Laugh Pit, Minnehaha Comedy Club and other regional comedy venues. He has opened for such Minnesota comedy legends as Louie Anderson and Scott Hansen.